A New Life in Jesus

China - all that happened, all my desire to return

2006-02-02T12:05:00.000-05:00

To all friends and kind strangers, brothers and sisters loved by God all over the world-

This is my public account of the past few months travel in China, and a plea for help so that I can go back. As perhaps you've heard before, it is true that many Christians there are suffering for their kindness and their faith. But something beautiful and magical is happening as well, as more and more Chinese turn to Jesus for guidance in a brutally selfish world where communism and capitalism collide.

When I left China to return to the States I didn't have it easy. People I worked and prayed with are trapped in jail or worse. I feel like I've left my soul over there, with them. I know that God is calling on me to defend the good that I've found, and help make a better life for Chinese Christians struggling with poverty, disease, oppression, lack of schools, lack of churches, and little-to-no spiritual and financial support from abroad.

I am filled with hope right now, because even though the authorities encouraged me to leave China, I was not deported, and my return visa was not denied. I am going back there at the end of the month, to reestablish contact with my friends and fight back with medicine, defense lawyers, worship and meeting facilities, travel papers, train tickets, and whatever else the Lord provides.

I am flat broke, but my heart is intact. It may not be for long though, if I have to go back to work in New York while people who took good care of me in China are dying.

Please read my story as I continue to write everything I can remember over the next couple weeks or so. I don't know how long it'll end up being, since so much happened and I hate forgetting the details! Tell your friends, tell your church, tell every good Christian you know! More than money, I need people to be aware of what is going on.

I need all of you to pray. Pray for every good soul I meet in China and the many more that I don't. Please pray for me too.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

Part 9

Part 10

Part 11

-more to come, I want to post everything that happened just before I left China, but I won't skip over anything! Something tells me the whole story is what's important.

donate?

The Penultimate

2005-10-20T13:43:00.000-04:00

I've finally done it!!!

Through helping others in Jesus's name, and making sure to do the best I can for myself as well, I'm finally getting the opportunity to travel and study and live in China for the next few months!

I'm keeping a mailing list and separate blog on another site, one more journalistic and less personal in nature. Friends, family, acquaintances, and you can relish the trouble I stumble into and duly extricate myself from as I navigate the culture of the middle kingdom.

A final update with the new URL will be forthcoming once I get settled in Beijing in a couple weeks.

Take care and God bless!

trying to step lightly around politics and failing

2005-09-13T14:18:00.000-04:00

This is a really strong argument-

Dysblog; on Bush's faith without thought.

But I'm not saying I totally agree with it! After all, this guy isn't a Christian. He says he's 'studied' Christianity, but given that his background is reform Jewish like mine, how can he know what the Spirit of the Lord is like without having experienced it?

I'm gonna have to e-mail or leave some comment for him- 'Douglas Anthony Cooper'

He's an artist on the scale I had hoped to be at in a few years. Cool stuff! I can barely imagine how much he might accomplish if he realized that working for Jesus is the only application of talent that really pays off in the end.

Anyhow, I like reading CS Lewis a lot. I haven't read the Narnia books since I was a little kid, but the Cosmic Trilogy and Screwtape Letters are a little bit more adult-oriented and relevant to daily moral decisions. Too bad he's not alive today to give a 'yea' or 'nay' on how Douglas Cooper uses his stories to bolster the anti-Bush argument.

Anyone have any thoughts on that article? I'm hesitant to delve into politics when all I've been doing for the past week has been very apolitical fundraising, but it's hard to ignore sometimes...

ok, gotta get back to work,

God Bless!

whatever is needed

2005-09-11T02:12:00.000-04:00

After hurricane Katrina, this all seems so pointless. I don't think spiritual sustenance can be found when safety and basic necessities are lacking.

I know you are all doing everything in your power to help.

So is God.

Guilty!

2005-08-28T13:21:00.000-04:00

Uh oh, I woke up at 11:30 today and realized there was no way I'd make it to the church I'd planned on going to.

I don't think I'm slipping because I spent practically all last night up late engaged in philosophical conversation with a friend trying to urge them to come closer to God. But as the sky lightened up, and I realized it was 5am, I realized that it was gonna be a struggle to get out of bed by 9:30.

Is it right to sacrifice time in church with the Lord in order to speak of His Glory? I didn't feel like I had a choice last night. I had to keep talking and felt an urgent compulsion to press home to my companion that the light of Jesus is undoubtedly what she needs in her life right now. We weren't arguing much, and she paid close attention to my testimony of all faith in Jesus has done to lift my spirit up to soaring heights of confidence. I'm glad I didn't talk her into coming to church with me today though, because I slept right through my alarm! (or unconsciously turned it off somehow)

I feel so horribly guilty! I feel like I probably missed another life-affirming, all-revealing moment from learning something new about the Scripture and exeperiencing that joy in harmony with others. In fact, I know I did, because the church group I planned to go to today came highly recommended! I'm thinking about going to an evening or afternoon service nearby, but the church that's for families and the stable community just isn't the same as any of the younger groups that speak to single students, artists, and professionals like me. It gives me more of a quiet, contemplative experience on the many wonders of the Lord, and the knowing that the Bible is truly written for everyone.

I'm going to pray again now.

Lord, You who are the wisest, You who are the most compassionate, You who are the most giving, having given freedom to our souls, and salvation from eternal pain, please take pity on my mortal foolishness, and grant me again Your blessing and the strength to do everything I attempt in Your name, for Your glory. I pray that I will not fail You, and that You will sent other servants to walk by me, so that we may all worship in peace and unity, enjoying the beauty of Your creation, all you have given us. Thank You Lord. Thank You Jesus Christ. I love You with all my heart and soul for eternity.

Amen.

Listen to this song!

2005-08-24T22:42:00.000-04:00

Here's what I'm listening to right now. Beautiful and contemplative.

The Fire Theft- Heaven

follow up

2005-08-23T21:02:00.000-04:00

I didn't have my usual camera the Sunday before last, and it's a blessing that anything came out at all!

Recently my grandma's health hasn't been the best, so I've been traveling to spend time with her and pray for her.

I'm starting to find some pretty cool churches / Christian youth groups to hang out with here in NYC. I want to document them a bit better and find out how my experiences compare to churches across the US.

I'm going to China in November! And I'll write about how it is there. I'm not really sure that I can afford it, but I'm gonna try until I run out of money. I plan to look into ministries from New York to find some contacts there. I'm already applying to a school where I can study the language for 8 weeks at least. It's expensive! But I'll be keeping the faith pure and strong so good things may happen!

Here's to Love in Christ with all my brothers and sisters,

---Pete

video attempt

2005-08-17T17:28:00.000-04:00

back soon!

2005-08-01T09:40:00.000-04:00

In Boston. Having fun!

No regular internet access though.

God Bless!

as before

2005-07-20T09:42:00.000-04:00

To reiterate: Wow! This temporary job is keeping me insanely busy! And it's going to necessitate a trip out of town for about 10 days next week!

But cool things keep happening! I've been running into joyful young Christians pretty much everywhere I go, and sharing prayers and learning about various resources and ministries in New York! Like the Times Square Church, and the Forefront Church.

Now here's God's plan for me. (I can't exactly call it MY plan, because I know where it's coming from and who to thank.)

I've been typing about video, right? So as soon as this current job is over. My project is going to be to edit the video I have of my friends, and also take some short documentary style shots of our worship at the various youth churches in NYC!

That way this journal will be all spruced up with multimedia, and hopefully Christians around the country, even around the world can check out our scene!

It'll be a nice way to give back to the online communities for giving me forums to read and post in for when I'm getting a little sick of the non-Christian world of work work work.

All is cool.

God bless!!!!!

short hiatus?

2005-07-15T16:51:00.000-04:00

Wow. This new temporary job is keeping me insanely busy. I'm barely going to have time to update this journal for the next month, much less hang around the internet forums as often as I'd like. I'm going to try though. And I'm going to try and get those video clips of some of my friends celebrating the Glory, as well as a little bit of the next New York Journey (cinematic ministries) event that I get to. I'll then try and get some feedback online about what others think of this form of worship! I think it's pretty cool, but I intend to use the web to amass a diversity of Christian perspectives!

As soon as I have time, which will hopefully be soon!

God bless you all.

NYC video

2005-07-14T07:21:00.000-04:00

Darn. The video didn't turn out so well. Probably good enough, but I try and do the best I can when shooting and editing, so I know I need more shots.

I'm starting to meet a lot of cool people around the city whose religious outlook is surprisingly similar to mine! I now know a couple larger non-denominational youth groups that are getting together to share personal stories and experience the Gospel together. The most amazing thing is that it's all youth-organized, not part of any church!

I'm not sure if this is exactly the territory I want to get into. Part of what makes God such a stabilizing force in one's life is the presence of the tradition, the culture, the architecture, and the knowledge that men and women of the Church have devoted their lives to the Lord over the course of its entire history.

But until there's a sign of some kind, or I encounter another Christian organization that strikes me in the heart as 'THE' right way to worship and devote oneself fully to Jesus Christ, I'm thinking of taking my (borrowed) video camera and doing a little documentation.

I've been wondering about the difference between young Christians on the East Coast, and the teeming masses of the Midwest, Plains, etc. Traveling in the USA, I've never been West of Pittsburgh!!!

The obvious difference I'm thinking, and I'm not sure I want to get into it quite yet- Is political. But if there's a political divide between city and country like the media says, shouldn't shared love for the Lord be able to bridge it?

I'll shoot some clips of the Christian activities I attend in the city this month, (and maybe add in a few shots of some of my friends!) and put up links to them, so anyone reading this can share our joy! It might be cool to start a video clip exchange between Christian youth of the East Coast and whatever's West of Pittsburgh!

I'm wishing I had more multimedia to post up here right now! All this text is probably a little aggravating. But... I've got a new freelance gig, and it's off to work now, so we'll see what I can do about it this weekend!

Next update Sunday at the latest! And video clips coming by the end of the month!

Internet forums, meeting people in NYC, thoughts on the 'twelve tribes' community

2005-07-12T11:48:00.000-04:00

I did mention something along the lines of 'forum overload' in my last post, right? Well I want to write a little bit more about that here, as a way of getting my head straight and figuring out where to start in the convoluted maze of forum communities.

The first few that I checked out were just bulletin boards with general areas ranging from light discussion to the profoundly theological. That works. It's easy to browse through and figure out.

But then I hit http://www.christianforums.com and WOW! I'm overwhelmed by the extent of its functionality and the range of activities on this website! There's a massive economic system of virtual 'blessings', cartoon avatars wearing the 'armor of God', and even arcade games tied in!!!

Now, I think this is really cool, but who has time to sit and do all this? (I don't mean that as a cut, I'm honestly happy and extremely thankful you're all there!) I'm going to want to devote an entire weekend to searching through and posting on this forum site alone, and if I can, all the others with their abundance of diverse brothers and sisters in Christ.

I consider myself extraordinarily lucky and blessed because God has led me on the path of discovery. I pray that I won't neglect this opportunity to communicate with so many fellow Christians, or be led astray towards the nether regions of the internet. As it relates to my life in the city, much of my day is spent out and about. I'm working, running errands, visiting both friends I've met and friends of my family, and going nuts trying to find new jobs and projects just so I can stay afloat rent-wise! I have to move at the end of August, and I have no clue what I'm gonna do!!! I have faith that the Lord will guide me, and a new apartment or room will become known. Maybe even through my new realization of the strong Christian presence on the internet?

But I'm getting a little off-topic there. I wanted to say that so much of my life is stuck in the secular world, revolving around New York busybodies obsessed with marketing, career climbing, and self-promotion; to whom Christianity and selflessness are unmentionable words that make them feel ashamed. It really feels like Christians are a rarity here at times! Where are all the teeming multitudes who were at the Billy Graham crusade? That display of unity and love for Jesus was a blessing upon blessings! Exactly what the city needs... every day! Who knows when anything like that will happen again, but to see so many Christians together, shouting out praise; it was beautiful!

I'm trying to keep together a steady prayer group of friends who are either wholly Christian, rediscovering the Lord, spiritual in other ways, or just curious. But not everyone's free all the time! I'm going to try and get us together more often than just Sundays, so more people will have a chance to join in and set aside their hectic lifestyle for a short time in order to pray and feel the everlasting love and forgiveness of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, the One, the only Son of God.

I'm planning to borrow a video camera to put up some of our prayers on the Web, linked from this page! An artist friend is lending me some webspace for hosting, thank the Lord! More on that soon. Hopefully really soon, like this week!

Lately I've been thinking about what it means to devote one's life to God, which is what I'm trying to do, wholeheartedly. But if the Bible says I must live a certain way, (keeping Kosher? just one example) like the Twelve Tribes Christian Community reperesentatives I met espouse, then why am I not just giving up all the trappings of secular life and joining a collective like theirs?

This is a major question that I want to post on the various forums and ask about- As soon as I have time!!! Not just about the Twelve Tribes Christian Community, but in general, I want to know how people have changed their lifestyles to get closer to God.

I know that I want to devote myself to missionary work and evangelism in China, (despite what some people say about the dangers!) but in order to get there, how much longer do I have to run with the rat race here in the city? It's tough to make the rent and bills, and I pray that I'll never have to deal with a conflict between work and prayer / charity activities!

If I ever do though. It won't be much of a decision. Work and meetings and social responsibilities? Or God? Hmmmm. Real tough one. *sarcasm* Maybe I should ask my (freelance contract) employers if they've got the ability to die horribly in order to save my soul from eternal torment?

Praise be to Jesus Christ the Lord!
For his death absolves us of our sin.
And his resurrection is proof of God's love.
So that we may live in eternal peace and happiness
by accepting him forever into our hearts
and giving of ourselves everything unto the Lord,
returning to the Creator from whom we came.

after the rain

2005-07-10T14:50:00.000-04:00

The past few days were so chilly and rainy it almost put me in a blue funk. But this morning all Creation shone in a beatutiful display of soft light falling around the buildings and trees. I wonder if this is how all Sunday mornings are meant to be. It sure feels like it!

Earlier today I got together with some friends for an impromptu prayer group and Bible study. Then, instead of going to the places where the needy were already gathered, we roamed the streets and gave bread to those we saw begging or sleeping in doorways, and also some addresses of missions and churches where they could get more food and aid.

This put me back in a somber mood, because as beautiful as God's morning light is, it hurts to think that there are so many who keep themselves from appreciating it, lamenting their position in life, and not realizing that God is there, wanting to help them.

So I went back and read through Genesis for a bit. I haven't paid much attention to it before, because we hear those Old Testament stories referenced all the time, right? And most of the detail is just names and places.

But there's a lot to be learned from God's selection of the families that stay true to his will and devote themselves to him. It's like mankind has been pruned socially and genetically, so that in modern times we are all of races with the innate capability to submit to God as descendants of his chosen.

It strikes me as ridiculous that some racists try to dispute that, and claim that people who don't look like them (not Middle-Eastern? not Caucasian?) aren't sons of Abraham. With the dispersion of peoples around the world, anyone and everyone could be descended from any of the ancient families, right? That's what the 'Church of David' cultists one sees around the city sometimes seem to suggest. They believe that Africans are the true descendants of God's chosen and everyone else isn't.

But now I'm babbling about stuff I don't wholly understand. Back to the forums? Sunday's turning out to be a great day for reading about the Lord and communicating with other Christians over the internet.

Also I'm going to try and get a video clip of my friends and I holding prayers up here soon! One of my artist friends is letting me use some webspace for images and big files.

I'll try and write more soon!

Whenever we seek answers, there are only more questions

2005-07-07T13:56:00.000-04:00

But faith is beyond questioning. Faith is always steadfast and pure.

Lately, reading the words of Paul in Corinthians I has helped me understand much more about the struggle for salvation in an environment of Jews and atheists. All of it is great inspiration for sharing the joy of being saved with everyone, and trying to help non-Christian friends find Jesus as well!

So I'm getting a little overwhelmed by forum chatter! Not a problem, I knew this would happen. I just don't want to develop an internet addiction, so I'll post my little bit on the Christian forums, and then go outside on a nice long bike-ride! Maybe I'll get out to Long Island to enjoy God's greener creations!

Getting wrapped up in internet discussion isn't really what I want to do, but it's hard to resist. I posted a little rant in one topic, about poverty sort of being the will of God.

As a humanist, it seems so easy to end all poverty with the funds of a pro-sports athlete or professional entertainer, and the careful management of a financial guru. How hard can it be to redistribute a little portion of America's great wealth if enough people are dedicated.

But as a Christian, I don't think this is what God wants.

God wants missionaries who show the poor his words with the love from their hearts, not bribes from their hands. Rich or poor, our diversity strengthens our religion, and we're blessed if we avoid the temptations and sins of growing up in a material culture, and blessed if we can find God despite our hardships.

Eventually when I go to China to help our evangelist cause there, it's not going to be as a rich American who wows the villagers with an inexhaustible supply of money for their poorest. (especially since I don't really have any money! I'm living on modest means! I'm still trying to save up enough to go to China and study the language at a school there!)

I plan to go with love in my heart and to learn the ability to orate scripture passionately in their native language. And to help people understand that with Jesus, you don't need material goods. You don't need to devote your life to accumulation of money and riches. All you need is to be together with friends in the church, the 'body' of the Lord.

Now, on a totally different subject-

New Christian video games!

(I'm sort of betting that the first REALLY good ones will come from Korea.)

A great holiday!

2005-07-05T20:01:00.000-04:00

Happy July 4th!

There's no better time to be patriotic than now! I had a swell holiday and I hope you all did too!

I really need to get a digital camera to take some pictures of all the love around. If only I could afford one!

Can there be any doubt that this is the most blessed country on Earth? (well... maybe it's a tossup with Canada.)

I've been reading some really interesting discussions, both Biblical and general on various forums. I'd rather write my opinions here than butt in. I'll probably get around to commenting on them tonight. Friends who are reading here can get the info without turning into a habitual forum lurker like me!

more soon!

prayers

2005-07-03T13:41:00.000-04:00

Thank you Miche! Your prayer inspires me.

I'm having a quiet Sunday. I went on my own to an Episcopalian church around 79th. I sat and half-listened to the sermon and prayed. I'm doing my volunteer work later this week, on Tuesday, and maybe Wednesday, but I'm thinking of maybe going to a political symposium that evening if it doesn't conflict. It'll be nice to hear a debate and maybe get to chime in with a few words from the Good Book.

I join you in prayer Miche, and all others reading. Prayer not only for my beloved grandmother, (Suzanne) but for all who are approaching the most difficult time in their lives.

I beseech you Jesus, most merciful and most holy, to help me let those most in need know that you are there. I know there are so many people who go through almost their entire lives never thinking of what waits for them at the end. These people need you Jesus! They are the ones who were fixated on the worldly desires of the mortal realm. They are the ones who approach death hopeless, never having given thought to philosophy and the purpose of the soul. They need to know your kindness, Lord. And all the philosophers who wait, and test, and are afraid to commit to your love, they need to know that you are the beginning and the end of all philosophy, Lord. You are man's only chance for salvation!

I thank you once and a thousand times for enabling me to wake every morning and be uplifted by the your ever present spirit. I will mentally recount the events of the crucifixion daily, so I am constantly amazed at how much you gave for us, how much you love us Jesus!

There is no other God but God, present in the form of Jesus his Son.

Thank you thank you thank you Lord.

amen.

opening up

2005-07-01T11:54:00.000-04:00

Ok, I feel a little bit nervous about opening this journal up to all the new people, but I know it's what God is telling me to do and I shouldn't be hesitant!

"For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them."

is what I've been hearing with alarming frequency over the past month. Even recently at the Billy Graham Crusade- "I think there's a lot more than two or three people here tonight."

So I'm inviting you all to read what I've posted so far, and help make my future posts into more of a discussion.

WELCOME EVERYONE!

I want to try to organize all my previous questions, so new readers won't get too lost in my ramblings. So here's the recap of what's been eating me since I started this journal:

where can I go, what can I do to satisfy my desire to be joined in prayer AND be doing good works to help improve the social situation of the poor and (spiritually) needy?
Best parts of the Bible? Which passages should I be thinking about the most? Which scriptures are most relevant to my situation?
going to China? I'll post more about this in the future. I've been there once before actually, on a short (3 week) educational tour. Sometimes I feel that God is calling me, (pointing me?) there, to learn the language and attempt the monumental tasks that need to be done to save all the good people there oppressed and in need. I've talked with the few Chinese Christians I know, but I want to get more advice about this!!! As much as any readers can provide!
Art. Devotional Rennaissance art? Or more modern stylings? What paintings or sculptures do you think convey the most powerful reverence for the Lord?
Music. Once I get started talking about it I won't shut up. But give me some suggestions for good, melodic, Christian rock to listen to!
Billy Graham Crusade. Were you there? What did you think? (I think it's AMAZING how his words work for everyone, and all are encouraged to come be blessed, to be closer to salvation regardless of background.) What did I miss on Sunday? Because on Sunday I was with my...
Grandma. What do I say to her? What do I do? She's never gotten along with my Mother and my Dad's hardly around so they won't help. Her friends are all Jewish.

Grandma

2005-07-01T11:31:00.000-04:00

I talked to my grandmother for a while on the subject of religion. I don't know what to do. She says she believes anything is possible. She hopes more than anything that there is a place after death where she will be reunited with her husband.

Isn't that the best definition of Heaven? A place where you can live forever in peace and harmony with your loved ones and God.

My friend Ryan pointed out that if that's heaven, then why would a soul have to wait for their family to arrive? Wouldn't it be painful and imperfect if you got to Heaven and had to wait years for your husband/wife and vice versa?

But he also had a solution to this conundrum. He said that there's no reason for time to work the same way in Heaven as it does on Earth, and so we all get there at roughly the same time- instantly reunited with our families! Since I've been reading a little bit about theories of non-linear time, it almost makes sense to me.

I don't know how to reach my grandmother though. She thinks there might be a Heaven. She hopes to be with her husband. But she needs to accept Jesus into her heart and be saved! And time is running out!!!

This is really vexing me. I'm not sure what to do. She won't listen when I start reading the Bible to her. She feels that she's too old to be saved, too set in her ways, and doesn't realize how important Jesus is! She thinks that if she just sits there and does nothing, her prayers will be answered.

I'm getting really frustrated. Help! I'm praying that the Lord will send me some idea of what to do.

a link to another Billy Graham article

2005-06-29T12:01:00.000-04:00

I came across this person's article detailing their experience at the Billy Graham Crusade this weekend. Not only is his writing talented and professional, (a lot better than my rambling) but I've got more than a little curiosity about where he's coming from. His perspective seems to be that of a cynical, secular, Jew. Precisely where I would be if I hadn't been saved.

Reading his article is on one hand a joy, as it's entertaining, informed, and funny. But on the other hand, it's very sad, because he denies himself the pleasure of being saved! The guy is just there as an observer, not a participant, and I'm realizing if that was me, I'd be able to write a much more detailed, objective, description of what's around me.

However I wouldn't give up the awesome feeling of being one with a devoted crowd, accepting Jesus and proclaiming our love for Him and all of God's creation -for any sort of talent, or any other perspective!

I wish 'Max Blumenthal' could feel it too. He writes about politics and pop culture with a knowledgable point of view. But as I mentioned in my previous post, there are no words that can describe what is felt by a born-again Christian, at a Christian event, in the presence of God.

Billy Graham Crusade; the people

2005-06-29T10:57:00.000-04:00

You wouldn't think that the d-e-v-i-l would be anywhere in attendance at such a holy event.

But if God and Jesus are evidenced by love, community, praise, sharing, harmony, and all that is good, then what exactly are some people doing waving signs that say- 'Billy Graham is a Sinner!', 'Billy Graham leads to Hell', 'God Hates You!', 'Repent Now, Simpleton!' and other such negative epithets.

Unlike with the 'twelve-tribes' hippie-communists, I couldn't hold a reasonable conversation with the 'God Hates Fags' contingent, who obnoxiously blared their contempt for everyone other than themselves all over the roadside leading through the park.

Seeing them cordoned off by patrolling police actually made me feel a bit safer. Who are these people??? Why do they embrace hatred? Are they trying to save others? Or gloating in pride that they'll go to heaven while the rest of the world burns, because they hate in God's name.

They gave me the exact opposite feeling I had while sitting among the main congregation, listening to the music, the speakers, and the Rev. Graham. I felt disgusted.

If the d-e-v-i-l's presence is felt amongst us. Perhaps they're it? Any attempt to ask the 'God Hates Fags' people questions resulted in being shouted at and called a hell-bound simpleton.

I saw a couple people videotaping the anti-Billy-Graham protesters, (all of whom claimed to be fellow Christians of the fundamentalist variety!) and hopefully they will provide me with a link to their footage soon, so I can share the sense of anguish and disbelief that I felt.

There was another group besides 'God Hates Fags' also bearing disparaging signs. They kept sneaking out of the cordons and being chased by police. They also proclaimed Billy Graham and all who follow him to be 'sinners'. I didn't really understand the basis for their philosophies, but it had something to do with fearing the Lord's wrath to a much greater degree, and accepting tragedies as His work. Their tract is a strange jumble of old testament verses that seem to have little to do with each other. Their website is at www.atruechurch.info. I don't get it, but they really seem to hate Billy Graham.

Among that group, on one side of their enclosure, a mother and her daughter stood with signs protesting the abuse of Jews by... The Israeli Government? They were constantly being asked by passers-by 'Why do you hate Billy Graham?' To which they replied, 'We don't! We're Christians! We love Billy Graham! But the police won't let us out of here with our signs, and we're stuck with the other protesters!' I felt pretty sorry for them, so I stayed and talked a while, having something of a passing interest in Israeli politics.

I was very surprised that the woman and her daughter were trying to educate others about events occurring in Israel, despite having no first hand experience of the country!

They sounded just like Palestinian protesters, but claiming that the religious Jews were victims of all the injustices wrought. I'm guessing that they were referring to Sharon's edict that the settlements in the Gaza strip be destroyed, since there's no way to protect them from Arab agression without maintaining a constant and costly military presence. They referred to the settlers as 'crusaders' and painted them wholly as victims.

I'm not going to get into all of my thoughts and questions about the Israeli/Palestinian conflict here, but I will say that nice as they were, the mother + daughter team showed just a hint of paranoia.

They claimed that in Israel, the very act of parading their political opinions, and standing up for the 'crusaders' with their signs would get them beaten and tortured by Israeli police.

Having been to Israel myself. I can honestly say that such a thing is an impossibility! The country is democratic, and there are constantly protests coming from all sides, duly tolerated and moderated by the military. Pro-palestinian Jews, Pro-Jewish Christians, Anti-Arab Jews and Christians... everyone gets to have their say in public!

I think it's sad that these issues mean so much to that woman and her daughter, but they're too afraid to chase their dream and make a difference in the place that matters the most.

I'm praying for them and their cause, even if I'm not 100% sure I agree with it.

The best thing about the weekend. The ultimate holy triumph, was that the nuts waving signs were a distinct minority. Happiness and unity in Christ carried the day. Just ordinary people from all walks of life trumpeting their faith, and loving all equally.

This article is a good one that shows what the Reverend Billy Graham is all about. The strides he's made, and the healing he's helped the Lord deliver to the world. He's an awesome guy, not afraid of any opposition.

But speaking of opposition, I'm not sure Billy Graham always gets a fair shake in the mainstream media. This crusade got a lot of attention, which is surprising and cool! However I watched an interview with him done by and for the obnoxious "Chris Matthews" of "Hardball' that didn't seem to treat him very fairly, attempting to bait him into sounding foolish, and boosting Matthews' false pride.

Billy had none of it. He rebuffed the moronic media maven cooly and kindly, showing his stripes as a true man of wisdom, beyond labels and games. It was Chris Matthews who looked foolish, trying to make himself seem superior to a sincere man of true faith.

All the attention focused on Billy Graham's words has to be a good sign though. America waking up? Getting ready to listen to the truth?

Watching "Hardball" raised some tough questions, however. How do you tell when a public figure (like Chris Matthews) is really acting as they feel is according to God's will? Or abusing their religion for personal gain?

I'm going to start looking for forums and public places to put up links to this blog soon. I really want to start a Christian dialogue, and see if we can find some answers to the tough questions I'm always asking myself.

And then there's the matter of what my grandma says. She's a wonderful person, the greatest grandmother anyone could have, and still shines with light and life at 92. But is her outlook on religion enough to get her to God's side? I'm going to post more about that soon.

Billy Graham Crusade

2005-06-28T23:51:00.000-04:00

Wow, so that's what it's like to be in the presence of a legend under God.

I felt the presence of the holy spirit, shining on the thousands upon thousands assembled at the old world's fair park. I was awed by the love and devotion expressed, and I was captured by the honest stories of a friendly old man, preaching in a voice anyone and everyone could relate to.

And I had some great conversations with other attendees, about God and religion and politics and everything in-between.

This being New York, there were people from all over the world at the crusade. Tons of Koreans, Chinese, Latin Americans, Brazilians, and others. When the music played, and the preacher spoke, we all had one thing on our minds- To be saved and to give thanks for that salvation. It was a comfortable feeling of unity that honestly can't be put into words...

you had to be there to really understand what the main event was all about. It wasn't just Billy Graham talking. It was the feeling of God being there. With us. Being blessed is an awesome experience!

But even though the act and atmosphere of worship lies beyond textual description, I can relate to you what happened on the way up to the pavilion, as I engaged in conversation with several very colorful characters.

The most numerous body of tract-giving evangelists were part of 'The Yashuas' or 'twelve tribes'. Bearded men dressed in dun-colored shorts and shirts stood on just about every corner passing out piles of tracts describing their philosophy. They refer to our Savior as Yashua, and attempt to live in private communities with a lifestyle inspired by the Bible.

Oh, darn it. I can't figure out any polite way to describe them. They're hippie-communists!

But they do have a valid point.

The Bible is the best source for figuring how to live one's life in devotion to God, isn't it? So I can't see anything wrong with mimicking the ancient Israelites and early followers of Jesus as closely as possible.

The 'twelve tribes' seem like a very male-dominated group. On their website they state an opposition to feminism. But It seems like all they know about feminism is that it opposes marriage, which as far as I know isn't true at all. I've met plenty of married, Christian feminists.

They spoke of the need to go back to Hebrew roots, take Hebrew names, and to embrace the love of God in a sort of 'love everybody all the time' hippie manner.

I wouldn't mind going to check out one of their many communities sometime to see if it really is as idyllic as it sounds. I'm not sure they're the sort of group I'd want to join. But as we all should know, sometimes what God has planned for us isn't what we want!

Event; Grandma; my photos

2005-06-22T12:00:00.000-04:00

I am really excited about the Billy Graham Crusade in Flushing Meadow this weekend. Ok, it's not the Rapture, but it still seems like it's going to be a lot of fun. I can't be there the whole time, since I already made arrangements a while ago to visit my dear grandmother this weekend.

I'm not really bummed out about that though, beause I know it's the right thing to do in the eyes of the Lord. How could "Honor Thy Mother and Father" not extend to grandparents? I would love to spend the entire weekend meeting people joined in praise and song and inspiration at the event, but even getting there for 2 days is enough. I'm used to spending Sunday in smaller, more personal venues anyway, where worship feels more like a private, personal covenant. I've been thanking Jesus that I have such a wonderful grandmother, who is still alive with many more years left in her.

I don't want to think about this overmuch, though I know my prayers my prayers are always filled with it... My grandmother, being rudimentally Jewish, has never accepted Jesus as her sole Lord and Savior and will hear none of it. I pray for her with all my heart. I pray for her every time I kneel down and set myself before the Lord's mercy.

and once again, THIS is why I'm writing this blog! So hopefully my friends, friends of friends, friends of friends of friends, and whoever's out there on the internet can help me answer puzzling questions like this. I've asked a minister, a part-time preacher, a Catholic priest, and other clergymen, but even they can't claim to know EXACTLY what God's will will be. Will my grandma be going to heaven?

I pray for her, my mother and father have started to pray for her, and I hope you will too!

On a different note, here are a couple photos taken the other day at the Grace and Hope Mission after closing.

Friends!

2005-06-22T01:32:00.000-04:00

Come on guys! Post some comments! I know you're reading this!

Hey, I post in your blogs all the time!!!

Oh wait, no I don't... BECAUSE YOU GUYS DON'T HAVE BLOGS!!! Ha ha ha.

Ahhh, ok fine, just tell me what you think when we're hanging out. I hope reading this stuff helps affirm your faith as much as writing it does for me.

Tomorrow I'll put up a couple pictures of me hangin at the mission, taken by Alex. Maybe I'll write a bit more on one of the other religious topics that's be knockin around my brain, and definitely yell WOO-HOO because it's gonna be huge fun meeting interesting people at the Billy Graham Crusade this coming weekend! Wait, I just did... Well, tomorrow I'll yell WOO-HOO again!

Music

2005-06-18T02:36:00.000-04:00

Sunday's been my favorite day of the week since I heard a sermon a while ago that put it all into perspective. (and had a deep and revealing talk to a good friend about it afterwards)

It's the day of worship, and worship doesn't have to be routine. On Sunday I'll make sure to go out and meet people, experience a new church or prayer group, or return to a friendly one. I'm also looking for more opportunities to do community volunteer work with other Christians on Sundays.
I've had some great experiences serving food and giving support to those most in need- the city's lost and forgotten. But I'll post more about that after the next Sunday I spend volunteering.

That's why I should be in bed right now instead of up posting in this journal! Tomorrow we'll get together and have great time, united in praise, and looking for good to do in His name.

But I was just listening to some of my favorite songs and want to share a bit about them. (isn't the internet great? I don't have to repeat the same info about all the stuff I like to everyone I meet when they can just check out this blog!)

So music-

Way back when I'd just started college I heard an album that completely blew my mind, and probably did a lot to set me on the path of positivity. Now as you know, I wasn't a Christian back then, and neither was this album, but it's meaning and morals are so close, that I'm sure God meant me to listen as closely as I did.

It was the first Boy Sets Fire CD, "This Crying, This Screaming, My Voice is Being Born."

I'd never heard more powerful music in my life! And you know what? Surprise surprise, I've heard that all the members of this band are devoted Christians now. Christianity = caring about the world, and if you're following a path of goodness, joy, and harmony, then you're going to meet Jesus. Likewise if you're following Jesus, He's going to lead you further down that path then you ever thought you could go.

Part of what's brought me around to listening to more Christian music, by artists who profess their faith and play their music for God, not money or an audience- is having seen Pedro The Lion play a show filled with atheist hecklers. They (it was a full band at the time) were stoic, reverent, and poised. The crowd might not have been listening to the words in their songs, but they saw the love of the Lord reflected in the band's eyes. The songs were solemn and driving. It felt that they were marching somewhere, and I wanted to go with them.

Same show, totally different band. Jets To Brazil give off even more of a reverent vibe than Pedro The Lion, and they confronted the audience. Challenging them, turning them with rock n' roll, getting them to question why they're in this world, if not to come home to their Savior. I don't think there's much press about JTB talking about their faith, but its evident in their lyrics and their style. They have a spinoff band- Cub Country, which covers beautiful old Christian folk tunes, and paints a picture of the open American skies, a land truly blessed.

Jets To Brazil was probably the only accepted mainstream rock band that could sing Bible verses into their songs, and have a skeptical atheist audience eat it up, changed and charged with the Lord, for just that moment. Truly amazing!

I also like Damian Jurado a great deal.

and Sunny Day Real Estate, now known as The Fire Theft.

I don't even know where to start describing the meaning and the feelings behind their music. Every album put together, from the beginning to latest- describes a long twisted road, fraught with danger, but eventually leading to a reaffirmation of faith in God.

"Everything and Everyone and in the end we all are one, Truth cannot be denied..."

I've also listened to a lot of Tooth and Nail bands in the past. Like Roadside Monument, and Puller, and Falling Forward.

oh, and how could I almost forget The Juliana Theory! From near my hometown!

Ok, I listen to a lot of music. And I'm obsessed with it. But when I listen to others sing about what God means to them, I feel God is with me.

Isn't it obvious?

All the best rock and indie rock comes straight from God.

Not that Gospel, (sincere, non-commercial) Country, and even Rap music aren't just as amazing when fueled by a powerful love for Jesus, but I know what I prefer right now.

And that's sleep.

More about music some other time. I just wanted to post about the bands spinning through my .mp3 player all day.

Art

2005-06-16T14:23:00.000-04:00

I was looking for some images so I can customize this web page a little bit, and I started thinking about the art that matters most to me. I've always been stunned and amazed by medieval realist works that depict the Glory in full detail. I never made the connection until now that God was the source of the greatest philosophy, architecture, and art of the middle ages. The paintings I've gaped at in museums all my life- well, my favorites have always been those created in a fit of Christian inspiration. I never thought about this before, but coincidence? I think not!

Reubens' "Daniel" has been stuck in my head since I was a little kid.

This painting says it all.

Now, I have to admit that I am a little squeamish about most paintings/drawings/(graven images?!??!) of Jesus Himself. After all, we don't know, we can't know, exactly what HE looked like. Short with olive-colored or brown skin? Definitely bearded! So when an image of Jesus is created, does that image replace the truth?

Actually, I don't think this is one of the more difficult questions a new Christian has to grapple with. I've come to believe that it's PASSION and INSPIRATION from the Lord that matter when painting an image of our Savior. If the depiction of Christ comes from the heart and a sincere action of faith, then well, that's Jesus!

Just as Daniel up above is white and cherubic, I think it's okay for any imagery from the Bible to be depicted allegorically. You paint what you know best. What matters is that the action comes from God. Is this what it means to be blessed and do the work of the Lord?

Ok, now I'm typing in over my head. I need to go hear some other people's thoughts on this. And I'll try and post some more links to favorite artwork/illuminations later!

talks

2005-06-16T12:13:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I had a good conversation with my friend Alex. We both want to do what we can to spread the word of the Lord and have a good time doing it. Right now we're pretty intent on going to China, or anywhere teaching Christianity is suppressed. We'd join the "underground", and bring the light of faith to the darkest places. Adventure! I'll write more about this later.

We also talked about the whole 'denominational' thing. Alex comes from a Methodist family, but says he's swinging more towards 'Unitarianism' now. I'm not wholly sure what all this means. I know God has a plan for me, but since it wasn't just one person, or one group, that's brought me into this realization, I'm not sure who I should be affiliated with, if anyone?
I'll write more about my feelings on this later too!

I don't want to get too far ahead of myself, but I really need to show this journal to some of my friends; some of you soon! There's a lot I left out in my summary of my story about how I came to devote my God-given energy back to Him, and the best way to fill in the gaps is to answer the questions you'll probably have. Also, I'd better upload some of my pictures too!

It's a beautiful day out. I may just go read the Bible in the park and bike around some, before starting on work. Here's happiness and thanks that I'm not stuck in a 9 to 5 weekday job!

Sharing the joy

2005-06-13T10:39:00.000-04:00

It’s been a couple months since I wholeheartedly accepted Jesus Christ into my life as my guiding purpose. I’m still wrestling with all the changes my discovery and rebirth has brought me, so I’m keeping this journal, writing every few days at least, in order to preserve and to share the beginning of the journey into the rest of my life.

I was born a secular Jew, about as far from the light and life of Jesus as one can get in America's suburban society. I grew up a skeptic, not so much towards religion, but towards human nature and the callous way people treat each other. As a teenager I railed against mainstream society as a punk rocker, because I thought the normal world seen in TV ads and popular magazines was to blame for the lack of love, community, forgiveness, and acceptance in my life. However, I found that even among rebels, distrust, greed, ego, jealousy, and all the sins our petty minds can contrive ran rampant. I was blind at the time, and never thought about how the few devout Christians at the periphery of my life were immune to all the perverse, self-destructive dramas my other friends and acquaintances got all wrapped up in. I didn't even consider discussing religion until college, especially not with a faithful churchgoing Christian, and I never thought God could have anything to do with "a wretch like me". Thinking back, I probably said at least once that I was 'afraid they would try to convert me.' I was afraid all right. I was afraid of change. I was afraid of hope. I was afraid of commitment. I was afraid of having been WRONG my whole life, afraid of discovering that the world wasn't a big pile of crap and that the nebulous mass of people who lived in the light of redemption brought to them by Jesus, the Savior, were what I'd been seeking the whole time.

Again, that's why I'm writing this weblog. I want to try and understand the person I was. I want to understand how society got to be such a mess that we hear words like 'Savior' and 'Truth' and 'God', and ignore their meaning. I mean, there I was in college, floundering about looking for hope, looking for a savior, and yet hearing Jesus's name and hearing hints of the Truth thousands of times without ever realizing it was the answer right there in front of me!

I always felt there had to been some source of good in the world my entire life. Some metaphysical fount of clensing that would wash away the tears accumulated from living in a world of terrible imbalance, suffering, and injustice. Good sure as heck doesn't come from human beings. We lie, steal, ignore the poor, cheat our way into riches, manipulate politics, hurt the ones we love, and generally do what benefits us regardless of the consequences. It's only Jesus who lets us know for sure that we can buck that yoke and exercise compassion in His name, knowing that God supports our efforts to help others.

But I digress. I was writing about who I was and how I came to the turning point where I accepted Jesus as my life, my purpose.

I can’t say it was any one person who brought me to this place. It’s been a number of friends I met in college and afterwards, who’ve led by example. Dominic and Rebecca in PA, TJ in Japan, Zach in Philadelphia, Aaron in NY. They helped me realize that Christ had been calling to me since I was a little child, but the evils of the world (and of the d-e-v-i-l? that's a discussion for another time, something I'm still struggling with, the Bible as my guide!) had me so constantly upset and messed in the head that I couldn't hear, I couldn't see. When I witnessed true, pure good in others, it was brought out by the love of Jesus Christ. When I met people dedicated to making the world a better place and helping those in need, I saw that they gained the strength to do this through Christianity.

Recently I've been helped immensely by my friends, who support the changes in my life.I've got the faith. It burns bright in my heart and every day I'm inspired by the thought of Jesus rising to his eternal throne, always victorious, and beckoning for humankind to share in his glory. But I don't have all the answers yet, and there's a lot more I need to know. I want to love God by using my mind as well as my heart.

I’ve been going to different congregations, trying to figure out which church God wants me to be a part of, if any. I’ll write more about my experiences and the love and support I’ve received from fellow Christians here in New York at another time.

As I write I’m also wondering if maybe God wants me to draw upon my experience as a loner, and let other people who were like me, afraid and intimidated, to know that Jesus can accept and forgive them too, if they understand how to open their hearts to Him. I could approach people who need to hear the Truth of Christ, but like me, don't understand all the different churches. This is something I need help on. So I'm praying that all of you who come to read this weblog will leave comments and advice and help work the miracle of faith! Have any of you had similar experiences to mine? What congregation is right for you?

A few months ago I remember writing this down while struggling with doubt. "If there is any source of pure good, of love, of forgiveness, than why should it not be the face we know? -the truth we are blessed to hear; the sacrifice God made for us."

thanks for reading! Please tell me what you think and help me to know what Jesus wants for me as best I can! I have a lot more to write about, and a lot more to try and understand! Some things are for sure though- "Your love is ever before me, and I walk continually in Your Truth" (reading all the Psalms of David in the New Intl. Version, which gets me wondering why more Jews don't embrace the same values as Christians when they've got the same words right before them! But that's also an entry for another time.)